Futurist
ˈfyo͞oCHərəst/
noun
a person who studies the future and makes predictions about it based on current trends.
Firebrand
fī(ə)rˌbrand
noun
a person who is passionate about a particular cause, typically inciting change and taking radical action.
Pampleteer
pamfləˈtir/
noun
a writer of pamphlets, especially ones of a political and controversial nature.
You know who taught me to use quotes like that? Guy named Don Croft.
The first story I’ve featured below is headlined “Samsung's new flip phone brings some decidedly old-school cool.”
In a post back in this thread, I related how a twenty-something guy in a band of street musicians said to his mates “check him, rockin’ the flip phone!” as I made a phone call on mine. Another time, my nephew’s 21 year old girlfriend said “who ARE you?” as I answered a call on my flip phone (from my mom!).
Yeah, it’s cool. But only because it is one step farther away from the ghastly, web-enabled technology that’s driving a stupefying global increase in suicides and mortality. I’ve always hated cell phones, and was browbeaten into getting the one I have.
And everybody’s dimly getting onto what I’m laying down, here. Which is why the industry is feverishly releasing faux flip phones, hoping the rubes don’t notice. Releasing web-enabled suicide-drivers that LOOK like the old, somewhat-less-deadly flip phones. By that I mean that I can feel my head heating when I use mine. To protect current programming levels, affirm "But it’s so convenient!"
But their defense is reacting to my offense, and I’m driving over them, to the goal line.
Yes, I’m saying it here, loud and proud, even cell phones SUCK ASS. Admit it - gorgeous wooden phone booths in the lobby of the sweet restaurant you’re dining in are quite enough for any but the perverted, thanks very much. And you could make out in them. Superman changed in them. Come on, who’s with me?
During the haranguing that led me to finally get one in 2006, I said to my wife “you call me at work on my land line, I pick up on the second ring, every time. Yet, when I call you on your cell phone, I don’t believe I’ve ever actually reached you.”
Come on, you know no one takes calls anymore.
That previous missive on my part was in response to the tireless “what if there’s an emergency?” canard.
Much as cell phones suck, it’s the obviously-weaponized Ssmart phone - the one that renders you into a state worse than if you were legally drunk when you use it - that has taken matters here to a much higher, truly ludicrous level.
But digital music came, and we were assured Vinyl was gone, and, well, you know the rest of that story.
Humanity is recovering its wits, and pretty quickly I might add.
The fake-flip-phone pandering below is a rearguard action.
I am a Futurist, and you are excited about that, because, in MY future, there’s less suicide, and longer, healthier lives, and a much lower asshole quotient, everywhere.
Oh, I’m also a “firebrand” and a “pamphleteer”.
It’s my hope that, at some point, one of my posts is going to break this game open. People who have no idea what Orgonite is are going to say “you’ve got to check out what this guy’s laying down.” And the folks in charge are absolutely terrified about that.
Is it this post? I don’t care. I’m writing as if no one is reading, except for my bemused and remarkably tolerant compatriots, and a handful of quiet guest readers on this Obscure Internet Forum.
p.s., zero viewers of this thread as I write and post this (smirks grimly).
I feel better getting things off my chest, and thank you for your time and attention in this matter.
September 12, 2016 – Samsung's new flip phone brings some decidedly old-school cool
November 3, 2016 – Return of the flip phone? Apple patent reveals drastic new design for folding iPhone
November 12, 2016 – Could flip phones make a comeback? | TechRadar
January 8, 2017 – WA distracted driving law is written for flip phones, bipartisan bill would give it a vital update
Distracted driving is a rising cause of deaths and injuries in Washington State and across the world. But despite being one of the first states to ban texting while driving, Washington has failed to keep up with changing mobile use. The result is that it is currently legal to look at Facebook or binge episodes of Fixer Upper while operating a vehicle capable of causing enormous damage.
The problem is that the texting law was written and passed just before smart phones hit the market. So the WA law does not directly address all the other uses mobile devices are capable of. Only texting or holding a phone to your ear to talk are currently illegal.
Basically, Washington law still says, “No using your flip phone while driving.”
January 12, 2017 - LG and Samsung will BOTH reveal flip phones this year